Cigarettes
As much as used to hate and utterly despise cigarettes, it's amazing that I can now categorize every time I do smoke.
I'll start with the good ole "Morning Cigarette". Like today, it's 6:12 am, cold as fuck, and yet, there I am shivering outside in the courtyard area, smoking my wonderful cancer stick.
Next comes the "I'm so fucking bored out of my mind" cigarette which can come in 2 variations. The first is the typical nothing to do so you and a pal go through this stereotypical sequence. Fuck man, it's boring as hell. Let's go smoke, wanna go? Ya sure. Aw shit, Yo, you got a light? Ya? ok good, let's go. The second is the holy-shit-when-the-hell-is-guard-over-it's-so-boring-wow-that-Iraqi-girl-looks-hot-in-my-bino's-ohmygod-it's-so-boring-let's-see-what-time-it-is-WHAT-THE HELL-I-HAVE-2-MORE-HOURS-LEFT...I need a cigarette
Then you have I'm-so-fucking-pissed-off-the-army-is-dumb-as-shit cigarette, like for example one of my guys, after a long day of stupid shit, just snapped over a simply trivial thing when he stepped on a milkbox while cleaning out one of our trailers. Man, was he pissed, it was pretty much a slew of good educated words of "Fuck man, Fuck this shit" What Happened? "I got fucking milk on my fucking pants, fuck this shit, fuck the army, my pants are all wet now, fuck! and then its gonna dry and smell sour, fuck this, Hey man, give me a cigarette, I need a fucking cigarette, (and then the god given line) "You got a light?"
Of course there's the pre-convoy brief cigarette, which can almost be put in the same category as the this is boring cigarette category, but I think it gets its own.
What else, oh yes, the after dinner cigarette, where you don't really feel like getting up from the table outside, and just feel like chilling, but you can't just sit there, so you light one up.
There's the embarassing before I take a crap cigarette, not gonna go into details about that one, but let's just say, things come out better in the end.
There's lately been the ok-movie-is-over-lets-go-smoke cigarette
And of course the before I sleep cigarette. That about sums it up. Yup
This doesn't mean I condone smoking of course, this is just a neccesary evil, to keep us all sane.
Either way. Fuck you Big Tobaccao, you scum sucking cocksuckers.
I'll start with the good ole "Morning Cigarette". Like today, it's 6:12 am, cold as fuck, and yet, there I am shivering outside in the courtyard area, smoking my wonderful cancer stick.
Next comes the "I'm so fucking bored out of my mind" cigarette which can come in 2 variations. The first is the typical nothing to do so you and a pal go through this stereotypical sequence. Fuck man, it's boring as hell. Let's go smoke, wanna go? Ya sure. Aw shit, Yo, you got a light? Ya? ok good, let's go. The second is the holy-shit-when-the-hell-is-guard-over-it's-so-boring-wow-that-Iraqi-girl-looks-hot-in-my-bino's-ohmygod-it's-so-boring-let's-see-what-time-it-is-WHAT-THE HELL-I-HAVE-2-MORE-HOURS-LEFT...I need a cigarette
Then you have I'm-so-fucking-pissed-off-the-army-is-dumb-as-shit cigarette, like for example one of my guys, after a long day of stupid shit, just snapped over a simply trivial thing when he stepped on a milkbox while cleaning out one of our trailers. Man, was he pissed, it was pretty much a slew of good educated words of "Fuck man, Fuck this shit" What Happened? "I got fucking milk on my fucking pants, fuck this shit, fuck the army, my pants are all wet now, fuck! and then its gonna dry and smell sour, fuck this, Hey man, give me a cigarette, I need a fucking cigarette, (and then the god given line) "You got a light?"
Of course there's the pre-convoy brief cigarette, which can almost be put in the same category as the this is boring cigarette category, but I think it gets its own.
What else, oh yes, the after dinner cigarette, where you don't really feel like getting up from the table outside, and just feel like chilling, but you can't just sit there, so you light one up.
There's the embarassing before I take a crap cigarette, not gonna go into details about that one, but let's just say, things come out better in the end.
There's lately been the ok-movie-is-over-lets-go-smoke cigarette
And of course the before I sleep cigarette. That about sums it up. Yup
This doesn't mean I condone smoking of course, this is just a neccesary evil, to keep us all sane.
Either way. Fuck you Big Tobaccao, you scum sucking cocksuckers.
posted by PurelyFiction at 10:01 AM
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