7 more months till R&R

Whenever we're on patrol the only thing on my mind, like a broken record that keeps skipping and repeating itself:

Is this it?

how about now?

Is this where I'm going to step and set off the IED?

It's not like a debilitating thought or anything. It's more of a matter of fact kind of thing.

Being in the front and stepping in fresh soil is unnerving, but there's only so much one can do.

95% of the patrol my head is looking to where I'm going to step next. Sometimes I just pucker up and step over what may just be my last step, or it may just be a random indentation in the field.

It's just one of those things one has to deal with.

The prospect of life itself is so trivial sometimes.

I've already told my squad that if It was my time, then they are instructed to burn everything I have here.

My Laptop.

My Camera.

All my ACU's

Everything.

I don't know why, but I just feel like it's the right thing to do.

We were QRF for another platoon a few days ago, and alas we were called out. So we went and I got to do some shooting. I leveled a building/store with my .50 Cal BMG. I was in the turret for this one because we were running a bit shorthanded.

There were to Taliban fighters all Alamo'd up in the shop, so we leveled the place, but somehow they managed to squirt out, but our friendly rotary winged friends cut short their escape.

One of em had balls of steel. Here we are laying 2 50. cal's at them and one of em still had the balls to spray some AK rounds out of the hole that we blasted in the front wall of the shop.

It took almost 7 years, but this is the deployment I joined up for.

My life is hard and unforgiving, but I'm happy.